~Cheritera

this 2-3 weeks mmg penat, hectic working schedule...well sgt busy.. but mcm biasalah..when u enjoy doing it, then takkan terasa kut .. time flies..just reached home, bukak computer and hard disk mcm dah nak penuh sgt with all stuff.so aku pun amek time to bukak all folders and files.more on clean up my hardisk.buang benda benda yg aku dah tak nak.. well tetiba dlm tuh ader notes.notes to someone.well it that notes dated somewhere around 2003.
so aku pun bukak that notes.. it actually draft notes aku buat nak paste kat email. and email kan kat someone..which i did email it to her. but no reply..

well . this is what basically what i wrote....

Dear letter,

you..i have something to tell you but i'm not sure how. i don't know what i should sed or do,to tell you this is something that not easy for me to do.but somehow rather i need to at least let you know ... i hope you will understand why i do this..okay. here it goes..

we met. we talked.. we laughed.. we shared . and what we don't realized, we getting closer to each other
each day... i might don't see it the way you did, but honestly i also felt it. tapi i kene buat² tak tau...

i was quite shock and speechless, what you said to me yesterday..what you want me to be..
you want me to be the very thing that i can't be...i know i shouldn't treat you that way..
but that's me... i know it is wrong treating you that way and to look at what i can't see...
this feeling.. what i felt towards you ..im sure it is right and also as well as wrong..
even though i know it is real and i dont want to run from it.. i can't run from what i felt.but....
you've been with him and it way way much too late for me....and i don't want to get up in the middle of that.

let me said this straight .. there is never a day that our love is ever to cross that line.
it just not right..for me..... you and him..

let me explained it here..the way i see it, you're his everything...even though you mean the whole world to me.
to him you belong but that doesn't mean that you can't count on me. kan?
well it's seems a lil bit unfair but we need to face it.. that's the truth kan?

yang paling i takut.. well i don't want to think.. what if he found out?.. what would happened.
he found out that i love you ! and he knows that we're more than friends? he is a good friend of mine... really hope that you understand it. why we can't be together..

to all of people out there, one thing i learned here, " cakap senang arr weii , bila kene batang sendiri baru kau tau..anything yg involved feelings.. jgn memain. to let her go was something not easy for me to do, but to keep her pun it was so painfull because i need to pretend mcm biasa in front of her bf." so aku pun buat decision yg sepatutnya aku buat... basically bf die pun kawan aku ..a nice fella.. a nice bloke.. kalau die jahat/nakal may be aku proceed kut.... well to all readers . nak cakap aku loser ke aper ke. cakaplah .. as far as im concerned... it's enough if i think im doing a rite thing.

ader yg cakap, i should proceed with her. provided aku can treat her better that her current bf... you should thing bout yourself jugaktakkan nak jaga perasaan org lain je kan .. think about yourself.. fight if you really love her.take her away from her current bf..

ader jugak yang cakap. tak baik. well its not your time kutt.. let her happy with her current bf. tak baik kalau kau kacau gf org..what comes around goes around kan? try forget her. there's a lot of other fish out there.. ( what if kalau aku nak that fish jee.) bugger..kene ke cakap mcm tuhhh..yang paling aku ingat.. some one told me this. " if you really love her.. let her go. if she comes back .. then you know that you guys belong together" WTF wehh.. kalau aku let her go.. what if she currently waiting for me? i mean . what if she waiting for me to come and take her away.. nie kau suruh aku let her go and wait for her to come?
crazy a$$ mutha pucker..

gilalah .. zaman purba dulu nie. time time aku muda dulu.. teringat balik mcm kelaka pun ader. well pengalaman.

thanks..